No, Girl, Wash Ya Jeans!

As much as I didn't want to, today, I ran 2.2 miles. This was no small feat for me, considering that my shins were being really big lady bastards today.

I mean really, on a pain scale of 1 to 10, they were at a 50. I'm telling you, if it's not one thing it's another.  I had planned on riding my bicycle after my run, but I'll tell you what, this Texas heat is NO JOKE! Also, see above.. the shin splints nearly made me keel over.

My husband is a really great support system. I am very hard on myself, but he brings me back to reality when I need it, and that's often, don't tell him I said that he'll never let me live it down.

Since I have been a rockin-and-a-rollin, I can't physically see a change in my body, and that really bothers me. I have a problem with unrealistic expectations. For instance, I was wearing a pair of jeans that I LOVE, but normally they fold over under my gut (no bueno). I wore them today, and they kept falling down. At first, I was super excited. I had convinced myself that it was because I had lost so much weight that my jeans were not fitting properly, but by the end of the day I remembered that I hadn't washed my jeans in like days and days...sooooo... (yeah it's gross but I know some of you do the same thing too) they were loose fitting because they needed a good run in the washer and dryer.

I look forward to the day when I'll be able to fit in my pre-pregnancy jeans, with ease too. I have been battling myself and my weight for far too long to let this continue to happen. I look in the mirror and I don't even recognize the woman that I've become. I don't like it. I don't like her one bit.

This is a day to day kind of process. I am my own worst enemy, but I am determined to beat my inner asshole. I have come too far in life to allow a little bit a lot of fat take over my life and control the inside me.

I keep telling myself.. one day at a time. One. Day. At. A. Time. And that's what really keeps me going.